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  • Last updated:
    February 20, 2000

    And on your left...

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    Nordom (Profile submitted by Mr. Fiksit!)

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    Real Name: Waldo
    Age: E=mc
    Favorite Book: 10 Easy Steps to Quantum Mechanics
    Favorite Comic: Popular Mechanics
    Favorite Movie: History of Machines
    Favorite Band: Rage Against the Machine
    Likes: hanging out at Napa and Sears, obcene jokes (especially about Bill Gates), the Borg Queen (she's hot!), watching "Home Improvement," disecting animals to see what makes them tick.
    Dislikes: Clean jokes, anti-industrialists,unleaded gasoline, people who hate Home Improvement, people who want to save the environment


    Nordom usually spends his time looking through back issues of Popular Mechanics and watching Home Improvement to get ideas for upgrading himself if he isn't trying to get a date with the Borg Queen.

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    Fall From Grace (Profile submitted by Voldenuit)

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    Real Name: Dr. Ruth
    Age: "It is impolite to inquire into a lady's age."
    Favorite Book: Annah is from Mars, Grace is from Venus
    Favorite Comic: Hellshock ("I found it a most insightful foray into the condition of the mortal psyche.")
    Favorite Movie: The Impish Patient ("What, you mean it never made it out of Carceri?  How about Sliding Portals then?")
    Favorite Band: KISS (of Death)
    Likes: Macram, tea parties, lace petticoats
    Dislikes: Being told to "go to hell".


    "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", or in this case, "a woman scorned from hell is furious!" Underneath her prim and proper demeanor, Grace secretly despises all men because her mother's boy-fiend persuaded her to sell her daughter into slavery. She plans to extract her sweet revenge by driving men crazy with her chastity, then bestowing the "Kiss of Death" upon them, just like Al Pacino, only much, much sexier and twice as deadly.

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    Nordom (Profile submitted by Voldenuit)

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    Real Name: Al Gore
    Age: *unknown* - subject in a state of suspended animation.
    Favorite Book: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
    Favorite Comic: Iron Man, Penny-Arcade
    Favorite Movie: Cube
    Favorite Band: Mike and the Mechanics
    Likes: Borg implants (go Seven of Nine!), motor oil, self-improvement ("Nordom has improved.")
    Dislikes: Parliamentary Democracy.


    Contrary to popular opinion, Nordom isn't a square - in fact, he's worse....he's a cube! And he certainly doesn't have what it takes to be "hip" - hell, he doesn't even have any hips! However, he is constantly seeking to improve himself - his current role models are Lt Cmdr Data and coin-operated vending machines. When he isn't consorting with the NRA with his dual crossbows, he enjoys a good square meal of motor oil.

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    Morte (Profile submitted by dls)

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    Real Name: Hoover Magillicutty
    Age: 21
    Favorite Book: "Sex: A Man's Guide"
    Favorite Comic: FC Brandt's "S K U L L"
    Favorite Movie: Phantasm (Gotta love The Tall Man's silver balls)
    Favorite Band: Talking Heads
    Likes: Lime green Jell-O, Vaseline and a spatula, Don Knotts, Viagra, picking fights with the homeless.
    Dislikes: Erectile dysfunction (??), Legionnaire's Disease, Circus chimps, femalew who don't... (you know, Chief...)


    Hoover scored his first acting credit as "Murray", the invincible demonic skull from "The Curse of  Monkey Island" ...at least that's how he describes it.  His most recent work, "Planescape: Torment", is what he considers to be his big ticket to fame.   Hoover had recently been spotted with Christina Ricci, co-star of director Tim Burton's most recent box office success, "Sleepy Hollow"; however, their relationship came to an abrupt and tragic end due to a restraining order.

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    The Nameless One (Profile submitted by Jacob Lee)

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    Real Name: Richie "Smiles" Freud
    Age: A billion skillion years.
    Favorite Book: The Kama Sutra
    Favorite Comic: Jughead
    Favorite Movie: The English Patient
    Favorite Band: Cradle of Filth
    Likes: Getting in touch with his feminine side, wearing a fuzzy-looking diaper, hunching when he walks.
    Dislikes: Dust bunnies, being in the dark without his teddy bear, buying his organs from bartenders.


    Richie "Smiles" Freud.   Who is he?  Where does he come from?  Why does he wear that funny diaper?   Is he related to undead Jamaicans?  The world may never know.

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    The Nameless One (Profile submitted by Sir Bob)

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    Real Name: Floyd
    Age: Somewhere between 10 minutes and 10 000 years.
    Favorite Book: Frankenstein
    Favorite Comic: Spawn
    Favorite Movie: Man Without a Face
    Favorite Band: Rob Zombie
    Likes: Big, cool tattoos.  Personal discovery.  Reminiscing.
    Dislikes: Being mistaken for the living dead.  Dying a lot.


    A 10 000 year old horribly-scarred amnesiac immortal, Floyd is just looking for the meaning of life.  He's never really thought about what he'd do if he actually finds it.

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    1999-2000 Bob, Jack, and Dave Productions, Inc.  All rights reserved.

    Unauthorized reproduction will be met with divine retribution.

    All right, show's over.

    Really, there's nothimg more to see.

    Are you still reading this?

    All right, go ahead then,  keep reading (stupid Clueless).

    *Crrchk!* Someone get the net.  Copy.