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    February 20, 2000

     PORTAL SOUNDS

    The Question: What does a portal sound like?
    The Winner: mook

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    The sound of one hand clapping.

    - PureEgo


    The sound of a thousand munchkins make when killing the lich lords of the quasi-plane of dread.

    Please note: This sound is only emmitted by the munchkins when they are using a sword of quickness +50 vs. Lich Lords of the Quasi-plane of dread.

    - Malkali


    Correction: That only requires one munchkin. :p

    - Freaky


    Yeah, but thousands have done it. :P

    - Malkali


    The sound a portal makes when opening is... *whooshk, wrup, snap, whizzi whiz, fwap, crackle, groan, pop, whisk, boom, pow, biff, bam, gee-golly batman!, bang, zoom, ka-blam, and ka-pow*

    Wait a second... thats the sound I make in the morning eating rice-krispies watching old batman re-runs!

    DOH! Sound of a portal?

    It sounds like the collapse of any IC mono-theistic religion in AD&D.

    - Flabbyjack


    Tis the sound made by a flying purple elephant with one green eye coughing up a wad of orangish phlem onto a rougishly dashing sentient cadaver bearing two broken scythes and a pink banana made from the Quinta-plane of Vaugely Scary, whereupon the Bluish orangutangs of Quargwar the omnipotent spit out explosive hydrogen atoms thus discoloring the bananas before the fiendish Rofgar the hyperintelligent 8 track tape can seek to employ their basic yellowness in his grand scheme to create a huge comedic encounter involving an omnipresent yellow peel and God slipping and falling on his keister.

    - PieDragon

    Please note: The explosive hydrogen atoms do not themselves color the banana pink, but actually anything spit from the mouth of a Blushish orangutang of Quargwar bears pink spreading discoloration, due to the sexual orientation of visible light on the Quasi-plane and its infinate preferance of mating with the lovingly soft and caring orthodontial instruments of Morgaras the horrible Quargwar dentist, whom promptly ditches them all in the mouthes of the Quargwar.

    - PieDragon


    Just plain sound--loud but inaudible. The kind of thing you don't know you're hearing until you try to speak and can't hear your own voice.

    And then, of course, there's the classic *Bamf*, but you already knew that..

    - Asgard


    Bamf is the sound. I'm right ain't I?

    - Exitium


    I imagine the sound a portal to make to be quite similar to the sound of a thousand blue parrots attempting to whiste the 1812 Overture, except they're all out of synch and really don't know the tune all that well.

    Or "flurp!", and occasionally "wurfle." Either way...

    - Sir Bob (please note that Sir Bob, as the initiator of this nonsense, is inelegible to win)


    Actually it's more like the sound that you make when you have wet flip flops. Or perhaps the sound that an elephant makes when it sneezes. Or perhaps its the noise that the Lady of Pain makes when she accidently nicks herself when she is putting on her costume.

    "Ragishagafragadagalaga! Boo!"

    - Malkali


    Are you certain it's not like a dozen lawyers screaming in unison? (no, wait, that would only apply to Baator...) Or the sound of a hydrogen-filled test tube hitting the ceiling of the chem lab in a burst of flame? (I know EXACTLY what that sounds like, from personal experience...) Or how about the sound made by dollops of custard being dropped into boiling oil?

    - Sir Bob (please note that Sir Bob, as the initiator of this nonsense, is inelegible to win)


    Mmmmm... deep fried custard.....

    - Malkali


    The portal to the Forgotten Realms plays "We Are The Lollipop Guild" as sung by a chorus of munchkins. ; )

    - Dave


    It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, It's a small, small world" That's right isn't it?

    - Transeer


    No soup for you! Bread is five dollar.

    - Malkali


    Abyss: My mother-in-laws voice

    Semi-Elemental Plane of Hot Air: A Random Clinton Speech

    Icewind Dale: "drizzt" or "canyouplayadrow"

    UO: "guardsguards" or "corpporcorppor"

    Norrath: "haveyouseenmycorpse"

    Baldur's Gate: "cha-ching"

    Amn: "cha-chingcha-chingcha-ching"

    Neverwinter: the sound of burning pen and paper

    Dereth: "huh?"

    If a portal opens in the woods, and noone is around to hear it, it sounds like a tree falling.

    - Mob


    Wrong! The Bauldur's Gate opening isn't "cha-ching"! It's "You must gather your party before venturing forth." Get it right.

    - Becker


    Yeah, and I thought the Amnian one was"For the glory of AMN!"

    gah, but those guys were annoying, wouldn't let me sleep anywhere in town.

    - Malkali


    Hmmm, I always imagined it would be a *whoosh* as in like the doors opening on the Enterprise. :)

    *No flames! No flames!* :)

    - Xanthus


    It sounds like the noise an elephant makes played backwards.

    - Jason0616


    Sounds like chicken.

    - Transeer


    My answer: boo.

    - prodigy_


    It's the portal that goes 'ping'. It's the most expensive Portal in the hospital. And that ping sound means your baby is still alive.

    - Tavalar


    Now, I'm no expert on ALL the planes, so you'll have to forgive me. Also, my sound isn't going to be immediately recognizable by everyone... but trust me, if you've seen the anime "Giant Robo" you'll know what I mean. If you haven't seen it, go out and rent episode 1.

    The portal to the 999 (or however many there are) levels of the abyss should make the sound...

    "DOOOOMB" (say this out loud, in a very low, foreboding voice)

    Oh, and by the way, SirBob, I'm not a Knight who says "Ni". I've been promoted. I'm now a Knight who says "Ecki Ecki Ecki Ecki Ka-Pang ZOOP-Wang... zaaoowwwighhh...."

    We are the keepers of the sacred words... "Ni!" "PING!!" and "NEEEE-Wong!!"

    - FluffyBunnyFeet


    Peng.

    - Leedowl


    Or perhaps "Noo."

    - Leedowl


    The sound most of em make: Shicka shicka shicka shicka shank crack crack bong.

    All the other ones sound exactly like bacon frying.

    - Judas


    Elemental Plane of Nukes?

    Well if there was one the portal would open like so. FOOM! then nothing..... you are now one with your shadow and dead....

    - Devil Man


    (humor sold separately)

    Sa-weep-granagh-weep-nini-bong.

    They're very polite that way.

    ::looks around, absently wondering if anyone on the board will get this::

    ::shrugs:: ::turns over and goes back to sleep::

    - Asgard


    FHOP

    - Calis


    I believe the portal to the planes of chaos sounds like a midget breaking the sound barrier in an enormous vat of lumpy pudding (a very loud, moist inhaling kind of sound) but that could be just me....

    - mook (WINNER)


    It sounded like... DING...

    - Devil Man

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