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    February 20, 2000

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    Hey, If It Didn't Happen to You, It's Funny

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    Practical jokes.  No matter where in the multiverse you may be, one thing never changes: practical jokes are a favoured pastime.  However, on the Outer Planes, pranks of this sort tend to be a bit more over-the-top than those found elsewhere.  Presented for your reading pleasure are the ten most humorous practical jokes the author has observed throughout his planewalking career.

    10...

    Find a Clueless wizard.  Tell him the spell key for getting wild magic to work on Mechanus is jumping up and down while squawking like a chicken.


    9...

    Fill your tiefling companion's wineskin with holy water.


    8...

    Slip a corpse fly charm into your friend's rations.


    7...

    Wait until the dead of night, then build a brick wall in front of an oft-used portal.  Spent the rest of the day with your ear to the bricks, listening.


    6...

    Find a store with a fiendish proprietor.  Make a purchase, than pay in silver coins and walk away before the merchant can say anything.


    5...

    When asked for directions in Sigil, send him around the long way.


    4...

    Invite both a tanar'ri and a baatezu to dinner in the same restaurant, at the same table.  Don't show up.


    3...

    Directly before a gladitorial match, serve both combantants roast cranium rat.  Watch them try to work out their differences through calm, intellectual debate.


    2...

    Find two nearby, connected portals.  Build a covered walkway between them.  Hand the portal key to the next curious passer-by.  See how long it takes for it to occur to him.


    And the No. 1 Planar Practical Joke...

    Open a gate to the Abyss beneath an outhouse.  Walk away.


    Note: the author of this article is not responsible for any consequences that may be incurred in attempting to carry out the outlined courses of action, including, but not limited to, decapitation, divine retribution, and transformation into small crawling things.

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    1999-2000 Bob, Jack, and Dave Productions, Inc.  All rights reserved.

    Unauthorized reproduction will be met with divine retribution.

    All right, show's over.

    Really, there's nothimg more to see.

    Are you still reading this?

    All right, go ahead then,  keep reading (stupid Clueless).

    *Crrchk!* Someone get the net.  Copy.