Becker: Hi everybody! This is the Torment Interviews; I’m your host, Becker. Here with me today is Dak’kon.
Dak’kon: Dude, just call me Dak. This is, like, a formality-free zone, y’know?
Becker: Sure thing, Dak. So what’s it like working on Torment?
Dak: Totally killer. Bueno maximo, y’know?
Becker: Uh, sure. I don’t suppose you could go on a little more?
Dak: No problemo! So the way I see it, Torment is one big allegory, y’know? Like, as if you’re this guy, see? And you’re trying to get your memories back.
Becker: That’s not an allegory Dak, that’s what the game is actually about.
Becker: Why don’t we talk more about you. So you’re a Githzerai, what’s that like?
Dak: Way cool.
Becker: I see. Just to elaborate for the folks at home, I understand your race is blessed with exotic mental powers that transcend the comparatively feeble abilities of normal humans. What psionic feats are you capable of?
Dak: Well, we can drive a stick shift.
Becker: Not bad.
Dak: Yeah, it’s nice racial ability since we like to travel and all, y’know?
Becker: Yes, I had heard of your abilities to travel to exotic places throughout the multiverse. Where have you been?
Dak: The astral plane is kind of cool. Then there’s always Sigil. Awesome city! Great clubs.
Becker: So your race can be found there?
Dak: No way. Usually we follow the Grateful Dead around. Or Phish. Phish are pretty cool too.
Becker: I should have guessed.
Dak: Yeah. Things are getting kind of wild with the Githzari right now too!
Becker: Why is that?
Dak: It’s our new leader. He just started up this week and he has some major plans for us.
Becker: Oh no, not-
Dak: Yep. Guido Henkel.
Becker: I thought he left Black Isle to spend more time with his family.
Dak: We are his family, dude!
Becker: Well, I’ll admit there is a resemblance. So Guido’s going to lead the Githzerai across the multiverse following the Grateful Dead? Peachy.
Dak: No way! Guido says we can aspire to a higher level, y’know?
Becker: Thank God.
Dak: We’ll be following Ani DiFranco.
Becker: I see. Well, it seems we’re all out of time this week-
Becker: No, but I just can’t take it anymore. Stay tuned next time when we’ll have ... anyone but Dak.
Dak: Cool! Peace out!
Copyright © 2000 Derek Becker and the Pit crew. All rights reserved
OK, show of hands ... who honestly knows who Ani DiFranco is? That's what I thought. Lesbian folk singer, guys.