Interview Two:

Morte




 

Becker: Hello and once again welcome to the Torment Interviews. With us today is a very special guest, Morte the Mimir.

Morte: Thanks, but I'd like to correct you there. I'm not actually a Mimir, I only play one in Torment. Not every single decapitated head you meet  is an ever flowing wellspring of information and knowledge you know.

Becker: I see.

Morte: Well, it's a stereotype. I mean how would you feel if I randomly walked up to you and assumed that you had a fundamental understanding of the fabric of time and space just because you had legs?

Becker: Ah, I apologize. Why don't we talk about your previous work? You played the Guardian in Ultima VII correct?

Morte: Yes, an evil decapitated head. I was very cautious about accepting that part you know.

Becker: Really?

Morte: It's a negative image. The evil head tries to take over the world, and only a "walkie" can stop him. The original edition of Ultima VII featured a softer, more complex head but that jerk Richard Greenhill cut the scenes. That's when I dumped Origin for Interplay.

Becker: You find Interplay more sensitive to the needs of decapitated heads?

Morte: Oh yeah, you see 'em everywhere in their games.

Becker: The staff works well with heads?

Morte: Very well. Most game companies only see heads as decoration. We're used as door knockers on evil mansions, or the ever-so-trite "wall of skulls" that every necromancer's lair seems to have. It's ludicrous! I mean, if I were a necromancer I wouldn't use skulls, I'd invest in some reinforced concrete and barb wire.  Interplay's different though.  There's even talk about an affirmative action plan to get some decapitated heads on their development staff.

Becker: I've heard some rumors about you and Scott Warner though. You've been quoted as calling him "a piece of knuckle-dragging redneck walkie trash".

Morte: Hey! He started it! He began with small things like asking me for the time, when he knows I can't wear a wristwatch. Next, he starts deliberately messing up my lunch orders so I'm getting deliveries of boiled eggs and oranges. Now he's sneaking in bowling balls into my hotel room! Hey Scott! If you're listening in, I want you to know that I'm not afraid of you, chump. And I've got a team of lawyers just begging for you to make another joke about using me for a basket ball!

Becker: Uh, OK. So, moving on: regarding Interplay's largely head friendly status and using them in their games. I noticed a large number of heads in the Fallout series; were they based on you?

Morte: No, that was my cousin Ethel. She lives in Toronto.

Becker: Oh. How about those skulls you find in Bauldur's Gate?

Morte: Those were modeled after my friend Jeremy. What, do you think those skulls look anything like me?

Becker: Um, there is a resemblance.

Morte: I suppose all decapitated heads look alike to you! I bet whenever you see one, you think "Oh geeze, not another one of those decapitated heads!"

Becker: No! That's not true at all!

Morte: How would you feel if your sister married a decapitated head? Would that bother you, walkie?

Becker: Of course not!

Morte: Yeah right. I'm on to your little game, you ambulatory bigot. You're going down Becker! You and Warner will be hearing from my lawyers!

Becker: Gosh! It seems we're all out of time. We'll be back next week with another Torment Interview!

Morte: Fight the power.
 
 
 


 

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Copyright 2000 Derek Becker and the Pit crew. All rights reserved
Is it just me or does BIS have a head fixation?