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A portal a Day saves the Grim Reaper the Trouble of Killing You
An excerpt from a story taken from some bald berk, detailing the dangers of allowing Tinker Gnomes within the confines of Our Fair City, by Malkali

The dark altar loomed ahead. Its construction had no doubt cost several annointed virgins their lives, but it still gave off an eeirie glow of cheerfulness. Almost as if the great cosmic balance was playing a joke on any sentient creature coming by, because unless you were a Clueless, you would notice the animals shunned the place. Even though, everywhere else, the halls seemed to be overrun with both normal and abnormal creatures. Spiders and the abominations this cult created lurked everywhere else.

This also was the same blasted altar that had the portal back to Sigil standing all around it. The Clueless primes using the altar apparently stumbled across the key during a sacrifice, and have been happily shoving sacrifices through the portal into what has now turned into a large building run by profiteering collectors who had found this fact.

The diminutive gnome took a deep whiff of the altar rooms air, and quickly fell into a state of bliss and contentedness. "You sure this is the portal offa this confounded prime? It seems too 'happy' for it to head back to Sigil."

Not wanting any doubts to his ability to command and lead, the only human in the group pulls out a feathered turban, and thrusts it through the archway. As soon as he does so a shimmering portal opens, awaiting their passage with a wide open maw.

As the adventurers stepped foot through the portal, they realized their mistake. The collectors had been both devious and practical when contructing the building around this portal. To increase revenue, they had enlisted the aid of a Tinker gnome to construct a device to shave the hair off the bodies that came through, and then to collect this hair for sale. Due to this fact, when each of the adventurers stepped through the portal, they were accosted by a giant mechanical pair of shears, and without enough time to warn the others each of them came through and got shaved in procession.

Standing with as much dignaty as he could muster, the leader of the band stood completely bald and with tattered clothing. "Alright, next time we find a portal heading out of some sacrificial area, we scout it out before all jumping through. *he coughs a bit* You just aren't safe with all the blasted Tinker gnomes running around Sigil these days. Either they're shaving you with some clunky machine, or blowing you up with a shirt press."[Editor's note: This story might have been embelleshed by the berk telling it, because truthfully I don't think anyone would follow this adled barmey anywhere]

Disclaimer: The Tinker gnome device detailed in this story was constructed by normal Tinker gnomes. The Tinker gnomes employed by the individual known as DarkStar seem to only go about pestering people, wearing tight black leather pants and cheap hawiian t-shirts, so these Tinker gnomes should not be confused with his.

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