THE PIT(iful excuse for a newsrag)

... a newsrag by Malkali
This just in:
The Pit regular - Lin Fusan - has finally achieved the perfect Thundermind. The situation will be reported as it develops.
Millions of Clueless invade WigWag
In a turn of events, it is the clueless that now have reign over our beloved Sigil. One board resident has been trying to help these Clueless overcome their stupidity, but when confronted with this they retaliate and start using improper grammar. Now, I know you all know the full horrors of improper grammar usage, but this blatant massacre of the English language is incomprehensible.... literaly. Using such words as l33t d3wd, and lumping entire paragraphs into single sentences, these menaces must be stopped

In related news, The Pit has become increasingly popular with past residents of the developers board. Decreases in sanity have been noted in some Pit regulars. This can probably be just attributed to the fact that most of them were insane to begin with, although it does leave a disturbing question, 'Does The Pit alter the regulars sense of reality?'

Call to Arms Voiced by Pit Denizens

The bottom of the board is a hottly contested area these days. In only a couple days the bottom of the board has become completely swamped by messages. The result? A call to arms to the members of several groups of evil overlords. Malkali's Mud Minions, and Transeer's Flying Monkey Minions, have both almost decreed war upon each other for the real estate of the bottom. Most confusing is that minions contest for space with their evil overlords as much as warring with the other group of evil minions. For more news on this topic, turn to page 33 and turn your eyelids inside out.

In an attempt to answer our own blatantly stupid question, we have asked one person his opinion on whether or not The Pit causes general insanity in its regulars.

Q: What is your opinion on the whole Pit thing? Do you think that the regulars are becoming increasingly insane?

A: I dunno, perhaps it is. I have noticed an increase in the number of pointless drivel over the past few days. I don't want to name names, but it would seem that DarkStar has been keeping up his regular quota of insanity, so that wouldn't account for it. However, Malkali has been increasing his number of posts that start and end in ambiguity. Also, Talavar might be slipping into the realm known as 'crazziness'. The bottom wars seems to also have added to the general looniness Editors note: This person was soon brought out into the street and shot

How Many Top Tens Does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb?
This and similarly stupid jokes have started popping up on The Pit. It can only be assumed that denizens have started becoming startled(startled, and annoyed) by the shear number of replies to the calling for top 10's. This reporter is glad to say that he has not contributed one ounce of tripe to the records of the most humble and gracious Pit establishment. ::Grovel Grovel:: "All hail the mighty Pit crew."