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Nordom (Profile submitted by Mr.
Fiksit!) |
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Real Name: Waldo
Age: E=mc²
Favorite Book: 10 Easy Steps to Quantum
Mechanics
Favorite Comic: Popular Mechanics
Favorite Movie: History of Machines
Favorite Band: Rage Against the Machine
Likes: hanging out at Napa and Sears, obcene
jokes (especially about Bill Gates), the Borg Queen (she's hot!), watching "Home
Improvement," disecting animals to see what makes them tick.
Dislikes: Clean jokes,
anti-industrialists,unleaded gasoline, people who hate Home Improvement, people who want
to save the environment
Nordom usually spends his time looking through back issues of Popular
Mechanics and watching Home Improvement to get ideas for upgrading himself if he isn't
trying to get a date with the Borg Queen.
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Fall From Grace (Profile submitted
by Voldenuit) |
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Real Name: Dr. Ruth
Age: "It is impolite to inquire into a
lady's age."
Favorite Book: Annah is from Mars, Grace is
from Venus
Favorite Comic: Hellshock ("I found it
a most insightful foray into the condition of the mortal psyche.")
Favorite Movie: The Impish Patient
("What, you mean it never made it out of Carceri? How about Sliding Portals
then?")
Favorite Band: KISS (of Death)
Likes: Macramé, tea parties,
lace petticoats
Dislikes: Being told to "go to
hell".
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", or in this case,
"a woman scorned from hell is furious!" Underneath her prim and proper demeanor,
Grace secretly despises all men because her mother's boy-fiend persuaded her to sell her
daughter into slavery. She plans to extract her sweet revenge by driving men crazy with
her chastity, then bestowing the "Kiss of Death" upon them, just like Al Pacino,
only much, much sexier and twice as deadly.
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Nordom (Profile submitted by
Voldenuit) |
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Real Name: Al Gore
Age: *unknown* - subject in a state of
suspended animation.
Favorite Book: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle
Maintenance
Favorite Comic: Iron Man, Penny-Arcade
Favorite Movie: Cube
Favorite Band: Mike and the Mechanics
Likes: Borg implants (go
Seven of Nine!), motor oil, self-improvement ("Nordom has improved.")
Dislikes: Parliamentary Democracy.
Contrary to popular opinion, Nordom isn't a square - in fact, he's
worse....he's a cube! And he certainly doesn't have what it takes to be "hip" -
hell, he doesn't even have any hips! However, he is constantly seeking to improve himself
- his current role models are Lt Cmdr Data and coin-operated vending machines. When he
isn't consorting with the NRA with his dual crossbows, he enjoys a good square meal of
motor oil.
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Morte (Profile submitted by
Ðãêdãlüs) |
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Real Name: Hoover Magillicutty
Age: 21
Favorite Book: "Sex: A Man's
Guide"
Favorite Comic: FC Brandt's "S ° K °
U ° L ° L"
Favorite Movie: Phantasm (Gotta love The
Tall Man's silver balls)
Favorite Band: Talking Heads
Likes: Lime green Jell-O,
Vaseline and a spatula, Don Knotts, Viagra, picking fights with the homeless.
Dislikes: Erectile dysfunction (??),
Legionnaire's Disease, Circus chimps, femalew who don't... (you know, Chief...)
Hoover scored his first acting credit as
"Murray", the invincible demonic skull from "The Curse of Monkey
Island" ...at least that's how he describes it. His most recent work,
"Planescape: Torment", is what he considers to be his big ticket to fame.
Hoover had recently been spotted with Christina Ricci, co-star of director Tim Burton's
most recent box office success, "Sleepy Hollow"; however, their relationship
came to an abrupt and tragic end due to a restraining order.
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