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    February 20, 2000

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    You Know You've Been Playing Torment Too Much When...

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    15. ... when going to sign your name, you suddenly realize you...can't remember.

    14. ... you start vocalizing comebacks to Morte's remarks...

    13. ... even when you're not playing the game.

    12. ... you can name and describe every single NPC in the game, but you can't remember how many kids you have.

    11. ... the sight of rosebushes makes you shudder.

    10. ... you've been out of the sun for so long that your skin tone closely resembles the Nameless One's.

    9. ... house pets that aren't green seem somehow inadequate.

    8. ... you catch yourself fiddling with a Transformers action figure and expecting something meaningful to happen.

    7. ... you try to have a philosophical debate about the nature of individuality with a slot machine.

    6. ... you could have sworn the ceramic skull in your fish aquarium has moved during the night.

    5.  ... you take to addressing others as "puny mortal".

    4. ... you see a couple of rats scratching around in the corner of your basement, and dive for cover.

    3. ... when someone angers you, you raise your hand to the heavens and intone "Chain Lightning!"

    2. ... it actually works.

    1. ... you haven't seen a female in so long, those zombie chicks in the Mortuary are starting to look good.

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    This site brought to you by the letters F and U and the number 6.

    1999-2000 Bob, Jack, and Dave Productions, Inc.  All rights reserved.

    Unauthorized reproduction will be met with divine retribution.

    All right, show's over.

    Really, there's nothimg more to see.

    Are you still reading this?

    All right, go ahead then,  keep reading (stupid Clueless).

    *Crrchk!* Someone get the net.  Copy.